Let's Try This Again

First, let me say that I’m going to attempt blogging again.

I don’t have a very good reason for a temporary absence. I just didn’t have the motivation for a while, and when I did have the motivation, I was very busy with work.

So let me just start with it and summarize where I am.

Work:
I like work. In fact, there are days where I really like work. But I also get into ruts where I can’t possibly see how I can advance my career doing what I’m doing, and depressed because I know that if I were to return to the private sector, I’d make 10-20% more money. I need to push myself in ways there are completely foreign to me, but I’m not sure I can. In the interest of total disclosure, I consult in health and safety, and I need to step out of my comfort zone and sell my company to perspective clients. I’m not going at selling things. There are lots of workplaces that need to improve their health and safety, and I’m very good at what I do. I guess I just need to convince others of this.

Self Esteem:
I used to have marvellous self-esteem. I wasn’t conceited; at least, I don’t think I was. I just knew I was beautiful. I know how that sounds – it sounds like I’m conceited. But I think I just had a healthy sense of self-esteem, something that many girls and women do not have. I still know I’m good looking, but I no longer believe I’m beautiful. But what’s really consuming me is that I’ve gained almost 30 lbs in the past 2 ½ years, and I just keep gaining. I can’t stop. It slowly creeps us, each week. I have brief periods where I go down a pound or two, but then back up it goes. I know the basics: calories in < calories out, eat healthy, exercise. But I don’t always have the energy to exercise. And lately, food feels like it’s holding a spell on me. If there’s something yummy, it just calls to me to eat it. And because I’ve gained almost 30 lbs, I’m up a size. I don’t normally discuss my weight or size, but I’m 5’8” and a little bit (or as I round up, I say “five foot eight and a half”), which I think makes me 173 or 174 cm. I weight 186 lbs as of this morning. I was around 160 lbs 2-1/2 years ago, which I was happy with. It’s depressing to admit how much I’ve gained. And every time I see an actress or person I admire who’s slender, I really feel upset with myself for gaining so much weight.

Clothing:
Since I’m up a size, I don’t have much clothing that fits. And I don’t have enough money to buy a whole new wardrobe, so I’m buying a few things each month, because I want to look good, but all the while I’m hoping that I can reverse this trend and won’t need this larger clothing much longer. I was a size 12 (sometimes 10), and now I’m a 14 (sometimes 12), but that can vary widely, depending on the brand.

Volunteering:
I do enjoy helping charities. I volunteer with a dog rescue group (doing phone interviews to find out if applicants would be good homes for our dogs), St. John Ambulance (going to an event per month to provide first-aid if required), a kidney cancer advocacy group (occasionally doing stuff to help out, but this is not often), and as the coordinator for an annual walk (“Great Strides”) to raise funds for Cystic Fibrosis, a disease my cousin had. I think I do too much, but I don’t know what to cut out. It stretches me too thin.

I’ll leave it there for now. I think I’m going to try blogging a couple times a week, and see how that goes. I hope you continue to follow me along! And if you know me in real life, please try not to judge.

Musings on Life

Ever notice how different coloured ju jubes have different flavours? Yet they all have the same ingredients - mostly 4 or 5 types sugar.

And ever notice how most people like the red best?

So why is it so hard to get all-red packages of ju jubes or jelly beans?

I'm thinking about this as I'm finishing off the green ju jubes from a package of red-and-green Christmas ju jubes. I did a "blind" taste test (not really blind, but I didn't look at which one I was putting in my mouth) and that's how I confirmed the red and green candies taste different. While I feel better that it's not all in my head (which I was half-suspecting), I don't feel any better as now all I'm left with are the green ju jubes.

(Also, I think jelly beans are the same.)

A Lesson in ... Confusion

I am incredibly unimpressed with Bristol Palin. She seems like a nice girl, but she seems ignorant. Of course, given her age, naïvété isn't a surprise, but she's beyong naïve.

First, she's on "Dancing with the Stars" as a "teen activist". Her "activism", as far as I can tell, is speaking at expensive looking dinners about how abstinence is the way to go. (Wikipedia says she makes $15,000 to $30,000 per speaking appearance.) When I was 20, I'd have considered discussing the merits of abstinence for a well-paying public speaking gig!

I wonder what's the matter with teaching teens about safer sex, methods of contraception and methods to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STI)? You can also teach abstinence as a moral and ethical decision.

I've never heard anyone say they decided to have sex because they were taught about the dangers of STIs and the difficulties of pregnancy and babies as a teenager.


And while she's preaching abstinence, she rips off Mark Ballas's shirt on DWTS. Huh?

Wade & his love of '80s hair bands

Wade is going to another '80s hair metal concert this week-end. This time it's Great White, who did a couple songs I know. I go to concerts when I know the band and really appreciate the music, but I don't go when it's a band I only kinda know. So Wade, his buddies "Seabrooke", "Dinger" and Ryan are going to stay in a posh motel called the Luau or something like that, to see Great White.

Seabrooke in particular is very excited about these concerts. His favourite band is Ratt so those four went to see them at the same venue earlier this year.

It's funny when these guys go to these concerts - Seabrooke and Dinger post constant updates on facebook. (Wade doesn't have a cell phone or a facebook account.) I know what they did, with pretty much hourly updates, if I just hang out and read facebook. I usually read a couple updates!

Seabrooke is so excited, he created this "video":

Municipal Elections

Across Ontario, we may municipal elections at the end of the month.

Reading through the local paper, one particular candidate of the region north of me had a name that sounds familiar:










Seriously? All I can think of is:

Attempt at blogging

I've said it before - I'd like to blog more regularly. I've set a goal of 3 times a week ... but I'm coming up dry!

I'd like to have witty posts filled with humour mocking the difficulties in my life. But everytime I set out to write these posts, I end up sounding like I'm complaining. I'm trying to drily comment, not whine about everything!

I'd like to have stunning posts filled with pictures of fashion or decorating ideas. But my internet's still slow and I just don't have the patience or time to sit down and find the pictures then upload them. Grr!

I'd like to have funny commentaries of the wonderful things we're doing this summer ... But I can't word how much I've enjoyed this summer. It hasn't been an amazing summer, but we've done lots of small things (like visiting the Sheep Dog Trials or having a pool party) but I can't find the words to describe these events.

I'm hoping a lightning bolt of creativity hits me soon!

Telemarketers have a new market: dogs!

Wade: "Hello?"
Person on the phone: "Hello, may I please speak to Princess please?"
Wade: "Um, pardon?"
Person on the phone: "May I speak to Princess please?"

Source: Shelter Dogs Rock

... should I just stop here and tell you that the person on the phone burst out laughing. It was ME. I was calling from a private phone (so Wade didn't recognize the number) and Wade somehow didn't recognize my voice. He was trying to figure out what kind of telemarketers need to speak to the dog!

Smile!

If you aren't at least smiling by the end of this video, I don't know what will make you smile!

Posting

Well, I haven't posted nearly as frequently. Part of that is due to me being swamped at work. Part of it is due to not being able to post pictures, which is incredibly frustrating. And part of it is due to me being lazy. (C'mon, when I get home from my swamped days, I just want to go to bed!)

I've been reading all the blogs I follow. Since my creativity is literally nil, I think I'll spend today replaying to some of my favourite posts. Or at least up until my "brand new" antique dining room set arrives. It's 150 years old, but it's new to me! :)

Wipe Out

Have you seen the show Wipeout? Wade and I love it. I heard that Wipeout is the American answer to Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (MXC), which is itself a dubbing of a 1980s game show called Takeshi's Castle. (For the records, MXC is far more funny than Wipeout, but that's because MXC dubbing is clearly not what the people were originally saying.

Here's a video of MXC if you haven't seen it.

Wipeout is coming to Canada, but (oddly enoughly), Wipeout Canada will be filmed in Argentina. (According to wikipedia, my source of way-too-much, the American version of Wipeout is filmed in California, which is obviously much closer than Argentina. Go figure.)

Wade and I are thinking of "auditioning" for it. (Auditioning = filling out a really long form.) The crazier you are in your "audition", the more likely you are to get picked. I'm not sure how to be "crazy" in the audition!

Here are just a few of the many questions "asked" in the "audition":
Have you ever won any academic prizes?
Does your job require you to wear a uniform? Would you be prepared to wear a version of that uniform on the course?
If you were a superhero, what would your superhero power be?
What is the coolest thing about you?

Crazy, non? (Both the form and the idea of auditioning for it!)

On an unrelated note, I still can't post pictures from my slow internet. Grr. I'm not totally sure it's the slow internet. Anyway, I'll make an effort to post more frequently. I know how annoying it is when you visit a blog that only updates itself once a week.

Random Post

Seeing wedding blogs makes me want to get married again. To Wade, of course. I've made that comment to him, and he looks at me like I'm crazy. I don't mean the stress, of course, but the day.

Helping my best friend and maid of honour (and recently engaged) Jocelyn plan her wedding will be fun. I admit, I'm envious of her getting to do this. This does not for one second effect my ability to help her. I know I had my day, and now she'll have her day, and anything I can do as a friend to plan or relieve her stress will make her day that much better. But still, I envy her! :)

Wade and I are having a fabulous anniversary party ... well, two. Wade doesn't know about the one. We're having a belated anniversary / housewarming party in early July. (In the near future, I'll write the reasons we didn't do a housewarming when we bought the house six months ago. But not today.) That party is for friends. I'd like to have a family anniversary party a bit earlier. I haven't run this idea by Wade, but I'm sure he'll agree if I offer to make a compromise, such as "allowing" him to watch a number of Nascar races without me complaining once. (The easiest way to accommodate that promise is for me to leave the house on a couple Nascar race afternoons!)

Also, Wade and I are thinking of a trip this summer. Not sure where. Newfoundland? Scotland? India? Our budget will impact where we go.

Plus we're still decorating our house. We I want to paint and make a couple changes to the bathroom. That hasn't happened yet.

So in honour of what's coming up in the next couple months, I'll start posting about these things: travel, decorating, two anniversary / housewarming parties, and Jocelyn's wedding planning.

If I wasn't at work, I'd definitely post pictures in the above post to make it prettier and more reader-friendly. Maybe I'll get around to it tonight.

Farmin'!

I had a busy week-end. Kinda. On Sunday, I volunteered with St. John Ambulance. I've been volunteering with them since September, and Sunday was the first time I actually provided first-aid on a duty. For privacy reasons, I can't disclose the name or details of the first-aid I provided, and I intend to honour that requirement. However, I can say that the event was a triathlon. I can also say that at triathlons, a common cause of injury is due to falling off bicycles (not due to lack of skill). So you can guess what kind of care was required.

Later in the day, Princess & I went to a farm. My friend Teresa married a farmer. She is not a farmer, but she somehow ended up a farm-wife! Her hubby took us around and introduced us to the animals. There was one pig, one calf, two cows, a bunch of sheep and lambs, one ram (the male sheep) and one horse.

They only have one pig. They had two plus a bunch of piglets. They recently sold the piglets, and of their two adult pigs, only Sammy is still there. I petted Sammy on the head - apparently, she likes head rubs. Sammy's companion was Hammy, and I don't need to think too hard to figure out where Hammy went.

Of the lambs, most were running free, but two were still isolated with their mommy because they were so young. Teresa and I each held one lamb. I have to say, they look waaaay softer than they feel. Their wool was actually rough compared to what I was expected. We cuddled them both, but their poor hearts were just pounding! We didn't cuddle them long and we returned them to their very worried mum.

The calf was named Angus. He's an Angus cow, and he's going to become Angus steak. I forget what the other two cows were named, but apparently their days were numbered.

Princess and Marley (Teresa's chocolate lab) did NOT get along. I think Diesel (8 month old black lab neighbour) would have gotten along, but Marley and Princess were so wound up by each other that no one was able to get along. Marley's also a trained duck-hunting dog, and she seemed friendly. Other than trying to eat Princess, that is. But Princess was trying to fight back, like the scrappy stray she is. It was almost funny watching how much those two hated each other. I think they would really have injured each other if we weren't there, but it's hard to say.

So that was my exciting week-end. What did you do?

Ever thought about purchasing a ghost? Now you can!

Sometimes I wonder about some people buying anything. Case-in-point: click here to learn about buying "bottled ghosts". Seriously, someone PAID for this!

What a week

The Olympics ... have been great!

Work ... has been busy. I've averaged working 10 hours a day the past 5 days. Maybe that's normal for you (and in some parts of the world, a 50-hour work week is standard), but I'm used to a 40 hour work week. So it was a little stressful. And our internet has been wonky. AND our wireless router does not want to work, making internet use all that much more infrequent.

So, let me just say:

• Joannie Rochette is amazing! If you don't know who that is or why she's amazing, google her name. You'll be amazed.
• Clara Hughes is amazing. She has won a total of 6 Olympics medals, the only woman to have multiple medals in both the summer AND winter Olympics. Yay!
• The women's bobsleigh teams ... amazing!
• The American figure skater Rachael Flatt ... did all that at her first senior international competition. Amazing!
• Canada's women's hockey team ... amazing! (Though going onto the ice to smoke cigars ... not such a good decision, ladies. Though I do wonder if it would have been criticized if the men's team had made that decision.)
• Both Canada's curling teams ... amazing!
• Yu-Na Kim (as she calls herself when in Canada, but known as Kim Yu-Na in her home country) ... amazing!
• So many things about the Olympics ... amazing!

Um ... men's ski jump being include in the Olympics, but not women's ski jump ... not so amazing. Way to return to your sexist roots, IOC. (That is a reference to the father of the modern Olympics, Pierre de Coubertin, who felt that the Olympics ought to only include men's events.)

I'll post more thoughts when I have more time to blog. For now, all I have to say: most of these Olympics have been fun to watch. All the Olympians from all the countries have impressed me!

I will be in a small town in Northern Quebec next week for work. I may not have internet access. I hope I at least have a tv where I'm staying. (I'm not staying at the local motel, but rather at someone's house who is "renting" his house for the week. Long story. Actually, not long, just confusing.) So my "once a week" post will probably be the norm again.

I think I'm a child stuck in an adult's body

I am working with some colleagues to put together a training program for a client. I just got an email from a superior saying that we have plenty of a particular training aid to "add to the loot". This colleague doesn't seem to have a great sense of humour, so I know it wasn't meant to be silly. However, all I can think is "yarrr, matey"!

Also, last night I found myself skipping down the hallway at home. It was fun and freeing, and it's not a rare occurrance for me.

Do normal adults do things like this? Or did I forget to grow up?

Okay, back to work: I shouldn't be blogging while at work, but I figure since my lunch was cut short by a meeting that 2 minutes of blogging won't hurt anyone.

It's a new week!

A chance to start a new week, start anew and get a fresh start ... again!

And tomorrow is my husband's birthday.

(That's him waiting for me to come down the aisle on our wedding day. Doesn't he look dapper?)

Whew ...

Of course, you're aware of the disaster that occurred in Haiti. I'm watching "Hope for Haiti" and earlier I watched "Canada for Haiti" (um, the same format as the American/International show). You are no doubt upset by what's happening, too. I just wanted to pause and acknowledge this tragedy.


I've now read everything in my reader. Our wireless is down, so using the internet is inconvenient: in the corner of the basement. Plus, now that I'm working and commuting half-an-hour each way (as opposed to ... about 5 minutes at my last job), I've been exhausted at night. So here's a quick update:
-Work is good. Still lots to learn.
-Princess is good. She's such a cute little cuddler when I get home. (She wasn't used to me being away from her for hours until I started working again!)
-Wade is good. He's working shift work for the next 4 weeks, which sucks, but at least he'll go back to normal days when this run is over.

That's all I got for now. I'm going to have a nice, relaxing bath then go to bed. Tomorrow I'm volunteering with St. John Ambulance for about 5 hours. (I started volunteering with them back in October. The commitment is: 2 hours of training 2-3 times a month (training is every Wednesday, so you just pick the Wednesdays you can make) plus one "shift" a month (you pick the shift, ranging from 4 to 9 hours, mostly on week-ends).

Ahhh :)

This is where I spent my Saturday:


After spending hours alternating between hot (steam sauna, dry sauna, hot tub), cold (cool water or cold water or just walking outside in a bathing suit!) then rest (at one of many rest stations, some by fireplaces), we went out to an Asian restaurant. As we finished our meal (coconut-curry tofu, tsao tofu and ginger shrimp), karaoke started. So we stuck around for a couple hours, and even did our own rendition of Sweet Caroline!

Good times!

Lack of posting

I wrote this post last Wednesday, and didn't get around to posting it. I've decided to post it a few days late.

I haven't posted much lately. For various reasons, including (but not limited to): being busy with the holidays, being mildly depressed (being unemployed is somewhat depressing and the short days don't help). Well, actually, that's about it. I've lacked the motivation to do many things, which is a symptom of mild depression. Also, not getting excited about things that would previous interest the individual is another symptom. Well, guess what? I start work tomorrow. And how do I feel? Meh. I know I should be excited and nervous, but I'm only interested and slightly overwhelmed. It's not that I won't do a good job - I will. But this job is a bit of a diversion from what I had been doing the past two years. It's still very related to my graduate degree, but it's something I haven't done much of in the past two years, so I will have the opportunity to use old skills and learn new ones. Normally, the prospect of using skills I haven't used in a while, plus learning new things, is very exciting to me. Ultimately, I know I'll be excited. But right now, I'm only moderately excited. Maybe that's a good thing: I tend to be hyperemotional. But it's very different for me.

A little help?

I started using google reader sometime in the spring to keep track of all the blogs I was following. After the wedding, I initially continued to follow the wedding planning blogs. Gradually, it became wedding overload. I continued to follow the personal blogs of people planning weddings (and still am following a couple so I can see the wedding come to fruition!) but I decided to discontinue following the mass-blogs such as weddingbee and weddzilla. It was a surprisingly emotional decision; not tearful or anything, but I definitely felt a twinge of regret as I realized I was leaving wedding planning behind (something I truly enjoyed).

Nevertheless, every other day or so, weddzilla pops back up in my google reader. I go into my subscriptions, and there it is as a blog I'm following. I remove the subscription, but two days later it's back. This has been going on for months, and I am not exaggerating.

I feel like poor Mr. Johnson whose cat kept coming back:
Although I never did figure out why Mr. Johnson didn't just find a proper home for the cat. Then it wouldn't keep coming back, now would it? Also, in retrospect, this is a disturbing song. I didn't remember all the lyrics; just the chorus. If you don't remember the lyrics, either, just have a listen to hear how disturbing it is!

Anyway, does anyone have any ideas as to why this subscription can't be deleted?